Good News Bad News

“The Lord your God is in your midst, The Mighty One will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17

Last Wednesday was my six month check-up for breast cancer. A digital mammogram and CT scan was scheduled. The CT scan was at my request to follow-up on a nodule or lesion the hospital had found on my lung a year and a half ago.

The mammogram showed no signs of cancer and I am praising God for His blessing. I wasn’t overly concerned about the CT scan since I was assured that most people have these anomalies on the lungs.

These tests were scheduled six months ago at my last checkup, so who knew it would be two days before I was scheduled to fly out to Florida and meet up with Ron and Bailey our Golden Retriever, they drove down earlier.

I had totally forgotten about the CT scan. You’ve heard the old saying, “no news is good news” and in preparation for my trip I assumed everything was hunky-dory. I spent the night at my brothers to visit with mom and the next morning he drove me to the airport.

Purse, check; carry-on bag, check; books, check; ticket, check; fun, check. Everything was in order and all was good.  My brother and I were busy chatting about Florida weather and when he was going to come down and spend some time fishing when the phone rang.

Jumping out of his car at the departure terminal I recognized the number immediately, it was the hospital. This was good; get a clean bill of health before I leave. But the voice on the other end surprised me. It was the same doctor who in another phone conversation a year and half ago informed me I had breast cancer. I stood frozen in the middle of Midway Airport, people were coming and going, hailing cabs, babies crying, kids playing and I just stood there with my hand shaking.

She indicated she was following up on the CT scan. I realized in that moment as much as I thought I prepared myself for bad news, I was instantly transported to the afternoon I first heard the words cancer.  I could barely breathe. 

I was expecting her to tell me there was something wrong with the lungs but she immediately went on about my gall-bladder surgery that had to be done during my chemo treatment. I kept trying to process what she was telling me. But all I kept thinking, ok, when are you going to tell me about the lung.

At the end of a lengthy explanation how during my emergency gall bladder surgery, three stones were lodged in the duct area and she assumed at the time of the surgery they would pass, the CT indicated they were still there. Shocked that I didn’t know anything about this her next statement was, “and by the way your oncologist wanted me to tell you no changes on the lung and it’s just a nodule.”

She went on about the risks of leaving them and the risk of having the procedure done. Neither sounded like a good option, which reminded me of another choice I just recently made; who to vote for this upcoming election. And I remember thinking even then there really is no good choice and yet I know I have to choose one.

The doctor felt I was not in any immediate danger unless I started experiencing symptoms.Of course you know how that goes, all of a sudden I went from being perfectly fine to having all of these symptoms and by this time I’m 20,000 feet in the air.

Good news it’s not cancer. Bad news is I have to have another surgery or procedure. I woke early the next morning in sunny Florida. The sun was not up yet and I laid there thinking of the verse that the Lord has all of my days numbered that He knows every hair on my head, He knew all about this and His love quieted my soul.

Later my sister called, she had researched the pros and cons of my choices and actually I felt better after talking to her. As far as the risks and the election, I’ll leave them both in the Lord’s hands and that is the best news of all.